T(100) - 1

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Today is the last day before we start the challenge. I have downloaded my 100 day calendar and the workbook for the first 10 day challenge.

I'm struggling with the notion that I should somehow be "better" than I am. Prettier, thinner, more spiritual, more organized, more kind, more loving, more together, more artistic, more creative, more crafty, more thrifty, more joyful, more abundant, more SOMEONE ELSE. But I am me. And I am those things sometimes, and not other times.

And if I want to experience the true fruits of the spirit (which I think all those things are related to) I know that those aren't states I "earn" like a paycheck for all my half ass work. No. They are fruits...they are produced IN ME when I am rightthinking and healthy in my mind, heart, and spirit. They are the result of running the honest true open race.

Peace comes when I am not pulling back...because pulling back in any way (fear, shame, regret, guilt, anger, anxiety) causes a tension -- a pull in the opposite direction.

Boy am I ever grateful that we have the opportunity to do this now. This situation won't last forever, so I should make the most of it! I am grateful that I have been shown an easy and rewarding way to get healthy. I am grateful that I am not miserable in nearly every way like I was in Vegas. I am grateful for the ability to sit outside and take the air and the sunshine and just live. I am fortunate and blessed by my life. And I am grateful for every choice I made and experience I had to get here, because if they had been different, then this would be different. And I hope I would be grateful then, too.

Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

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This page contains a single entry by Hannahbee published on July 31, 2008 9:54 AM.

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