Husband-type gently encouraged me to update.
But when I feel like I have something that takes more than 140 characters to say, I lie down until the feeling passes!
Plus, all I've got on the brain is POLITICS POLITICS 24x7.
Honestly, there's not much else to say. I'm outraged by the outrageous, encouraged by the encouraging, worried by the worrisome, uplifted by the uplifting, depressed by the depressing.
We might go see Obama tomorrow on campus (UNM). But that is sure to be an all-day event for a 7pm rally, and I don't know that I want to spend my best day off (Saturday) waiting in the intense sun/odd cold of a NM October day to see him. I mean, I'm sure it would be worth it, and I would have no reluctance if I hadn't yet seen him, but we did that already this season. So, I'm torn.
In food news: I was complaining about how I eat the other day, and my officemate said, "you eat really healthy!" And I realized that objectively, I eat REALLY healthy! I feel like I have disordered eating or a messed up psyche or something, because I keep believing I don't eat healthy, when the truth is, I do. I feel like I have Stockholm Syndrome. I know it's hard to understand how that is connected, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm like voluntarily imprisoning myself with my beliefs! Like I need deprogramming! And in a way, that's probably true. I've been trapped in the cult of self-loathing for so long, I don't know how to accept myself as valid and valuable at any size, how to believe that I care for myself and know how to feed and nurture myself.
The cult of self-hatred that women are trapped in, especially fat women, is so deeply rooted and controlling that I know there are women that I KNOW, who are my friends, even, who would rather be DEAD than look like me. And that is so sad, and I wonder how much of that is even still inside me.
Wow, I didn't know any of that was going to come out, especially since I only planned for a brief post. I guess more on that later!
But when I feel like I have something that takes more than 140 characters to say, I lie down until the feeling passes!
Plus, all I've got on the brain is POLITICS POLITICS 24x7.
Honestly, there's not much else to say. I'm outraged by the outrageous, encouraged by the encouraging, worried by the worrisome, uplifted by the uplifting, depressed by the depressing.
We might go see Obama tomorrow on campus (UNM). But that is sure to be an all-day event for a 7pm rally, and I don't know that I want to spend my best day off (Saturday) waiting in the intense sun/odd cold of a NM October day to see him. I mean, I'm sure it would be worth it, and I would have no reluctance if I hadn't yet seen him, but we did that already this season. So, I'm torn.
In food news: I was complaining about how I eat the other day, and my officemate said, "you eat really healthy!" And I realized that objectively, I eat REALLY healthy! I feel like I have disordered eating or a messed up psyche or something, because I keep believing I don't eat healthy, when the truth is, I do. I feel like I have Stockholm Syndrome. I know it's hard to understand how that is connected, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm like voluntarily imprisoning myself with my beliefs! Like I need deprogramming! And in a way, that's probably true. I've been trapped in the cult of self-loathing for so long, I don't know how to accept myself as valid and valuable at any size, how to believe that I care for myself and know how to feed and nurture myself.
The cult of self-hatred that women are trapped in, especially fat women, is so deeply rooted and controlling that I know there are women that I KNOW, who are my friends, even, who would rather be DEAD than look like me. And that is so sad, and I wonder how much of that is even still inside me.
Wow, I didn't know any of that was going to come out, especially since I only planned for a brief post. I guess more on that later!
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